something meant for me

Only love and death will change all things
My house says to me, "Do not leave me, for here dwells your past."
And the road says to me, "Come and follow me, for I am your future."
And I say to both my house and the road, "I have no past, nor have I a future. If I stay here, there is a going in my staying; and if I go there is a staying in my going. Only love and death will change all things."

bark bark bark

i am such an asshole.
i feel sorry for the people who have to put up with me.
happy thanks (for put up with me )giving.

Collecting Part 2: By the seashore and the edge of consciousness.

A seagull feather, and pink coral that washed up on shore while I was tripping on hongos in the very polluted gulf coast. The significance exists in the color and mindset I found them in. I was overwhelmed with guilt of failed family and love relationships, friendships, and my own relationship with myself. In my more recent past, I chose a path when I came to a fork in my life and I have just been wandering/(wondering)ever since. Dead crabs emerged from my findings and a need for direction came after that.

sshhh

I really need to grow up. it's probably about time.

fuk everything i hate the world blahblahablahablahablaha selfish bad attitude carreeer job contribution to a stupid society blah whats the godamn point depression moody sex too much sex wasting time on superficial things computer. why do i have less friends now. cause you suck and you're crazy and always drunk ALWAYS DRINKING blah blahblh either i will disappear into nothing and no one will notice or i'll stop being lazy and passive and do something why is it even hard to make that decision but i hate being noticed but i also hate being unnoticed. one cup of full potential half empty. fuk i can't even spell any more eeennnyymoooorreee i don't even capitalize my "i's" need mental stimulation. mind is not being blown here. everyone is leaving all the time. things are like a web. i am stuck. myne own saliva.