just a thought

i often times find myself pondering whether it is right to kill a roach. Sometimes i think we can coexist and other times my sheer disgust of the creatures rids me of any mercy. But as i finished cleaning my old apartment and proceeded to do a routine drowning of one roach hanging out in the bathtub, i had a vision of coming back in another life as one of the lil pests and quickly stopped my actions. I thought to myself what an awful way to die and said a prayer to the goddess that i would never have to experience that, especially not as a karmatic effect of my former actions upon all roaches. What if it was just giving me a farewell?
In effort to cleanse my old life i lit a watermelon incense and smoked some green with sum friends who agreed to keep me company during the ceremony (it turns out i have an inability to do things alone--def on the improve yourself list.) My friend said to me as i was sweeping the dust off the floor, "If these walls could talk, oh the things they would say." Not that he had any perspective on what my walls would say, seeing as he never saw my home until i had gutted it. But i think they would probably tell you that they saw a lot of love and hate and growing of not just one but two people, whether it be together or in different directions. I have to say i am really sad to have this part of my life come to an end-- and i didn't know i would feel this way when i ended it. I am lacking in a few things that are supposed to help you move forward, but i guess the fun will be trying to find what i need to fill those missing spaces.
RIP maxi pad.... i will miss you